Saying goodbye to alcohol
It has now been around seven months since I made the decision to stop drinking alcohol and it has contributed significantly to my development as a human being. Here is a post about what led me to this decision and some of the things that I have noticed and learned since becoming sober.
Having gone to university as someone who perhaps held pride in being known as a ‘party animal’, I’ve since taken a 180-degree shift in my journey with alcohol. Before fully stopping drinking alcohol around seven months ago, I had slowly started to reduce the amount I was drinking over the year or so prior. This was not purely intentional but it coincided with my want to become a better person and alcohol did not align with my principal values. Ultimately, I realised that for me, alcohol did not provide a significant positive contribution to my life, so I decided to cut it out. I fell out of love with getting very drunk as I realised that although during the moment I thought that I was having some of the best moments of my life, I was losing time that I could otherwise be spending on developing meaningful and valuable relationships.
I will now briefly discuss some of my observations from my experience of sobriety.
Masking of feelings: A major contributor to my decision to stop drinking was the realisation that temporarily masking feelings and emotions using a drug is not the same as tackling those feelings face-on. One approach eventually leads to the enhancement of anxiety and stress towards the ‘thing’ and the other allows you to constructively work towards addressing your feelings. In my personal experience, bottling up emotions in bottles of beer is simply self-destructive in the long run and although not the principal reason as to why I stopped drinking, I now feel like I’m better able to be at one with my thoughts and work through them.
Better conversations: I have found that conversations are better when I am not drunk: 1. because I remember them and 2. the topic of conversation is not focused on drinking. I have found that I can be more mindful about what I say, resulting in more meaningful conversations with people, be they friends or not. Talking to others because something is interesting to talk about and not simply because we are at the same ‘level’ of drunkness is refreshing.
Improved health: Staying healthy and being mindful and respectful of my health has become much easier. First of all, cutting out alcohol has led to me feeling better in so many different ways - mentally sharper and happier, physically fitter and stronger. However, there are also clear knock-on effects. There is no barrier to being disciplined about living a healthy lifestyle. For example. no more kebabs after a night out or cravings for sweet things and no more skipping breakfast and lunch because I’m hungover or feel guilty for doing so (you know, the typical ‘I need to get my diet back on track’).
Mental health: Not only have I seen benefits from a physical health standpoint. For me, a big part was to improve my mental health. Having struggled a little in the past, I decided that consuming something that fundamentally changes my brain chemistry - making both the highs and the lows more extreme - was not a good thing. Having stopped drinking, I’ve noticed far more consistency with how I feel and more control over my feelings.
Freeing up time: Boredom is often something that people do not want to experience, however, I am starting to think that being ‘bored’ isn’t a bad thing. After quitting alcohol, I immediately had a lot more free time - time that I could spend being alone with my thoughts or trying new things that I had been putting off for some time. For me, it has been a compounding effect of positive things as a byproduct of just this one action. I have been able to try new things like yoga, meditation, journaling, and playing the guitar just to name a few. I’ve found that the mornings that I would otherwise spend feeling sorry for myself become full of opportunities, allowing me to have more balance in my life. This is not me trying to say that doing more is better. I have found that just being present and in the moment is a very powerful thing that can’t be topped by many other things. Ultimately, this single decision has given me time to work on myself, to exercise, to write and to learn, and to spend more quality time with friends and family.
Socialising: At first, I was a little sceptical about how this decision would affect my social life more generally, but I can honestly say that it has had an overwhelmingly positive impact on this aspect of my life. Yes, there are some negatives like perhaps feeling slightly uncomfortable in a room of drunk people, but these things become easier with time. Overall, I’ve found that my confidence has only improved and that I am inclined to be more reserved and just sit back and observe some social situations more comfortably. Stopping drinking alcohol has freed up more time and space for what I view as more meaningful social activities, such as exercising and cooking with friends.
A note on stigma: When I went on and off alcohol for some time, I often considered the stigma associated with being a non-drinker, especially in a society that involves a lot of drinking. For me, people have said stuff like “But you have fun when you are drunk and you are so happy” or “Surely just drink and get smashed then” when I say I don’t drink. Although tough at times, I think it is always important to remember the why and to also realise that more often than not, people are just deflecting some of their insecurities onto you. I’ve learned to just let the comments pass by and to have fun. I’ve found that a simple shift of mindset is important after being sober for a while. Shifting from “I haven’t drank since…” to “I don’t drink” is simple but makes you feel proud and sure about the decision you have taken.
Consistency: Consistency in waking up feeling fresh, knowing that every day is an opportunity to better oneself and to be calm and kind to myself and others. I no longer worry about whether or not I will be ‘hanging’ the next day. I simply find joy and appreciation in feeling happy and grateful to wake up every morning in such a beautiful world. I believe that small and simple actions performed regularly have the potential to be very impactful. Being sober has allowed me to be more consistent with my habits and actions, bringing more joy and fulfilment to my life.
Saving money: Yes, I also found that I have saved some money having stopped drinking. It has also allowed me to reinvest my money in buying food that nourishes my body as well as fun experiences. I think there is joy in eating healthy foods and the way it makes you feel is unbelievable. Stopping drinking has allowed me to be more mindful about what I put in my body and has resulted in a drastic improvement in the way I feel.
These are some of the things that I have noticed from my first few months of being sober. Although I am still in the early days of this journey, I plan to continue this for the foreseeable future as, ultimately, I’m able to be kinder to myself and the people around me. I do not for one moment think that this is a decision that would be good for everyone but I do encourage anyone interested in what their life would be like without alcohol, especially young adults like myself, to give it a try.
I hope you found this slightly different post interesting and maybe learned something from it.